Makes Me Feel Some Type of Way

Feelings are like pathways that show you where you’ve been or where you perceive you’ve been. It’s funny because we’ll often make decisions based off of what we feel or we’ll want someone to make decisions based on what we feel.

What we feel in a situation usually points to an idea we have that we may not even be aware of. Feelings are not enemies. They are not fact or standard necessarily either. But, they’re so beautiful.

We’re often conditioned to only feel a certain way. “You shouldn’t feel like that.” This makes us live dishonest lives with ourselves and others. There are times where I feel I should be feeling happy or what have you, but I don’t. Once I make space for that feeling(s) without judgment, then it can pass and I can see the idea or behavior pattern it’s attached to. Then, God starts to deal with that thing at the root, slowly but surely.

Honor your feelings, but always challenge them. If we can’t heal in our emotions, we’ll unknowingly make decisions that keep us running on the same hamster wheel. The better we can make space for our feelings, the better we can make space for the feelings of others.

When we don’t know how to create space for our emotions, then we often bombard others with our emotions to get THEM to create the space for us. What that does is cause resentment, shutting down, and dependence in some cases. Boundaries are disregarded because there’s such a need to have our emotions validated.

Making space for your feelings is the act of sitting and playing at the feet of God. It’s being a child before Him. It’s being. It’s sitting without guard because you KNOW you’re in a safe space. When we can learn that within ourselves, we restore value and carry the capacity to restore it in others.

This is how the kingdom truly grows. People get vulnerable before YAH and this vulnerability spreads. The longer society refuses to be vulnerable before God and others, the more issues will be exasperated. I believe this affects our health–mentally, physically. Our bodies start to break down because emotionally, we haven’t rested.

When you first start this process it’s painful. You will want to run and hide from what you find. You’ll dabble in doing it yourself and depending on others to do it for you.

An example.

My sister might tell me about a new boundary she’s setting with the family. “I’d prefer that you don’t do fill-in-the-blank anymore.” Something about her saying that triggers an irritation and sadness. So, maybe I assume she’s wrong for telling me that.

But when I’m accustomed to making space for my emotions, I sit with them. Patiently.

What they are connected to will come to light. Maybe I find that her telling me that I can’t do such and such anymore made me feel rejected or like she didn’t like me and I often feel this way with my sister or in general. When I’ve done that, I can validate myself and respect her boundary. This has been a game changer in my life and relationships. Telling myself that I couldn’t feel certain things or to shut up and keep going, ended up making me see myself as less valuable.

As I’ve continued to do this, I see the way YAH sees me—I’m beautiful. So beautiful. I can stand upright in situations because I know who I am.

Your feelings are not facts, but they are probably some of the most valuable tools God gave us.

A pastor used to preach that God didn’t care about your feelings. We used to laugh about it, but now I see. Nothing could be further from the truth. We live with that ideology when we think we have to present ourselves to God a certain way.

Making space for your feelings, being vulnerable before God means that you can stand before any measure of man and not flinch or budge because you know who you are. “Don’t worry about man who can only destroy the body.” “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Brings new light to these verses.

If God has approved me, who can disqualify me? NOBODY. If I don’t have to present myself before God a certain way, then I don’t have to present myself to man according to his standards.

I stand confidently before YAH because I know I’m right in His eyes. How many people can truly say they KNOW they’re right in God’s eyes? I used to feel like I was right in God’s eyes if I was “on the right track” or ticking off all the “saved” boxes. But, from the perspective and experience as His child, I can play before Him without hesitation of my place before Him.

He’s providing for me.

Author: Darveiye

One of the most foolish yet sensible things a human can do is to believe that YHWH is real. Follow my blog: @sensiblefool

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: