Tag: women

You Are Not Enough

This blog comes due to a question I was going to ask a friend: How do you see what’s wrong with you and still love yourself or believe you’re worthy of good things?

This is my response to my own question.

There are two (at least) dangerous lies circulating society.

You are worthy.
You are enough.

Yes. You read that correctly.
Yes. I said it (insert Nene Leakes meme hither).

I have believed or attempted to believe these lies in an effort to live at peace with myself. It’s the message of beauty campaigns, magazines, hashtag movements, daily affirmations, pep talks, etc.

However, I have found the very opposite is true.

You are not worthy.
You are not enough.

Believing you are either of these two things facilitates the act of self worship–idolatry.

First. The very fact that we present that we are worthy of something is a belief that we’ve done enough to deserve this thing. (Granted, faith is a principle which governs the systems of the world–you can demonstrate by your works what you believe and attract what you’re expecting.)

However, we’ve misapplied this term or idea of worthiness. There is only One that is worthy. That’s YAH. There is none other.

Second–in tandem, you cannot do enough to be “deserving” or “worthy.” Your value is not what you do or in what you’ve done. Life is not the rewards system we often think it is. Do this and you get that. Do this and you’ll be worthy of that. Life is random and unfair. So, how will we have peace when things happen we feel we don’t deserve?

For humans, I get why we desire to feel worthy. Therein lies a belief that if I see something as bigger than myself and worthy of worship/praise, I am no longer valuable. This is not true. You can never truly know who you are until you know whose you are. Now, if you choose to only belong to yourself, you shall never experience the fullness of who you were made to be.

Knowing whose you are gives meaning and direction to your life. If you are His, it helps you see the tiny important part you play without blowing it out of proportion or minimizing it to a level that insults the One who made you (belonging to yourself).

It was never intended to be a trade off in which either YAH is good and worthy or I am good and worthy. We were meant to exist within a reality that says YAH who is worthy of every praise we could ever give demonstrates His character in that He takes care of us. The very fact that the most powerful being would seek to see about you ascribes far more worth than you could ever give yourself.

So, these lies…

1. I’m not enough because I am not complete. He takes care of me–indicating my need for Him. I am not complete without Him.

Tangent: When I say He takes care of me, it does not mean He gives me everything I want and does not allow me to experience pain. Instead, it means He has care for me. He cares about me. If He controlled every single aspect of my life, that would prove He cares more about Himself than anything else. That’s not love. He would have the need to control everything because His very nature was contingent on it. But, because YAH’s existence and nature is not contingent on anything else around Him, He has no need to control every single thing in order to prove He is who He says He is. He’s still Him when things look contrary. He is complete within Himself. He is ONE with Himself.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming:

2. I am not worthy because even my righteousness is filthy rags before Him. I cannot produce anything pure aside from Him. I need Him to even be right.

This shouldn’t paint a picture of self-hate. Instead, it should encourage adoration of Him. He’s beautiful and has made me to be beautiful–complete, lacking nothing. That cannot happen apart from Him or His people.

Self-hatred is an incorrect reaction to the beauty of YAH. Rest is the correct response to the beauty of YAH.

Resting in Him is a life of true Sabbath. I shall not go outside of Him to have my needs met. (This does not mean He doesn’t meet needs through people–that’s His model). I enter true rest knowing that nothing but Him causes me to be complete–whole, lacking nothing. I rest knowing that true connection to Him (not religion) can save me. I rest knowing I don’t and can’t be enough on my own.

When I am perfect (always connected to Him), I rest.

The systems of the world don’t provide rest.
Religion doesn’t provide rest.
Status doesn’t provide rest.
Education doesn’t provide rest.
Wealth doesn’t provide rest.
Power doesn’t provide rest.

All of these things can only imitate what YAH intends to do and be for His people. We often go outside of Him so that we can prove we don’t need Him. This reveals an insecurity in the human race. We are weak and hate it. We hate the idea of needing a Being we employ faith to believe in. So, we find ways outside of Him that are only imitations of Him:

The systems of the world: He is the King of an unseen kingdom.
Religion: He is what is sacred.
Status: He has no need to prove his importance. Humans have merely discovered it.
Education: He is knowledge.
Wealth: He is wealth.
Power: He is power.

Humans seek to replicate who YAH is to prove they don’t need Him–thus proving they do. This is the tireless grind of the human life. Can I ascend without Him?

Relationship with Him is an invitation to rest from your efforts to prove you don’t need Him.

Messiah said even His burden is LIGHT. Even work is rest in the Almighty.

“For My yoke is gentle and My burden is light.”

Mattithyahu (Matthew) 11:30 TS2009

True belief in Him is rest. It’s rest from all the work you used to do to make yourself SEEM right (complete). Now you are right. Now you are His.

So, enter that rest.

My Boyfriend and the Beatitudes

My Boyfriend and the Beatitudes

This is for the ladies. What do you want in a man? What is something you refuse to compromise on? What are your must-haves and must-not-haves? Many women have been encouraged to write a list that spells out all that they’d want in a husband. I have heard stories of women who have done this and the man they married was “everything they wanted and more.” I believe this really does happen.

It’s important to note that “the list” is as individual as the person writing it. It’s specific to you, your purpose, and the man the Most High will present to you. I’ve written lists before and have found that my list changes as I get older. Some things have remained the same (8 years ago), but for the most part, it’s changed a lot. This is due in part to my coming into an understanding of who I am and what I need.

Many times, we make these lists identifying our wants, but not our needs. Don’t get me wrong, it is okay to ‘want’ something — but every desire must be qualified. Why do I want what I want? What will I do with it once I get it? Who will it help or serve?

There’s nothing wrong with identifying what you want, but don’t compromise what you need for what you want. Typically, the things we want are temporary things anyway. The things we need are things that our purpose and the very core of who we are cannot live without. ‘Needs’ won’t change — for the most part. ‘Wants’ will. So I’ve come to the conclusion that it would be of my greatest benefit to evaluate and desire a man based on something that does not change. The WORD of God.

Now, when I say WORD of God, I’m talking about Yeshua, the Messiah (many have referred to Him as Jesus–that’s a blog for another day). Although many refer to the Bible as the Word of God, it is not the WORD of God.

John 1:1, 14 says, “In the beginning was the WORD, the WORD was with God and the WORD was God. He was with God in the beginning. The WORD became flesh and dwelt among us…” See, the Bible contains words from God, but it is not the WORD of God. Moving on.

The WORD of God doesn’t change and I can be secure in who He is and who I am IN Him. Acts 17:28 says, “for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’” If we are the offspring of God, we are produced after Him — meaning, we look (and are) like Him.

So, if I have a relationship with the One who does not change (James 1:17), whom I’m created to be like (Genesis 1:26-28), it would be important to note what He celebrates and deems good — hence the purpose for this blog.

In Matthew 5, we read of one of the most powerful teachings ever taught to mankind. I’ve been hearing this since I was about 5 years old and am only now coming into deeper understanding of it. Verses 3-12 have been infamously referred to as the Beatitudes. It’s that passage in the Bible that each verse starts with, “Blessed are…”

Many of sermons have been taught on the Beatitudes. My church recently went through a study and it was mind-blowing. Before we had even studied it, I had decided to write this blog. I’m going to take a look at the first three verses and how they influence what I should look for in a relationship. (These are in no particular order — although they are numbered).

  1. Submission to God

v. 3 Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

Yeshua was speaking of one who is crouched low before God (humility). One who is poor in spirit does not place confidence or value in their own human authority; they recognize God’s authority as highest and truest.

So, this verse encourages me to bless (praise) what Christ has blessed (praised) — which is a man that recognizes God’s authority and governs his life according to it. A man who isn’t submitted to God is a man unprepared to lead you or himself in God’s will.

A direct result of being one who recognizes and acknowledges God’s authority is the quality of being teachable. Being teachable allows you to be ready to learn because you aren’t under the impression you know everything. If you’re under the impression you know everything, you can’t learn.

2. After God’s Own Heart

v. 4 “Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted.”

Like verse 3, this verse does not mean what it would appear to mean. Yeshua would always talk in parables and His lessons would always have a deeper meaning. The revelation I received when studying this was that the one who mourns what God mourns, will be comforted (brought near).

The one whose heart breaks for what the Father’s break shall be brought near to the Father. This means, an intimate relationship with the Father results in caring about what God cares about — which in turn results in greater intimacy with the Father. A man who cultivates an intimate relationship with the Father is a student of Love (for God is Love) and will constantly be growing in the fullness of who God created him to be.

3. Humility

“Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.”

Yeshua is speaking of humility again. This ought to be no surprise to us given how much God hates pride. (1 John 2:16; Isaiah 2:10; Proverbs 11:2). But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble (James 4:6).” 

The Bible is very clear that God favors the humble and hates pride. God hates pride because it is often at the root of any sin. Pride exalts itself higher than it ought. Pride says, “I know better than God.” Pride doesn’t allow us to accept God because we will believe there’s no need to.

A man that walks humbly before God and man will walk in the favor of God. To have the favor of God means to have God’s face turned toward you in approval. “The earth is the LORD’s and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein (Psalm 24:1).”

If God approves of you, He gives you what is His. He gives you influence and authority. It may not look the way we think it would, but it’s the kind of influence and authority that can only come from God. This kind of approval (justification) comes with intimate relationship (sonship) with God. “For they will inherit the earth…” You inherit because you’re an heir, a child of God. I want to be with a man that recognizes he’s a child of the Most High and is in pursuit of what that looks like.

So, as we can see, the Bible can inform us of what God values and help us make sound decision in our relationships. Since marriage is God’s, it makes sense to seek Him about His desire for it. Some questions I’ve asked God are, “what kind of person should I marry?” “What kind of person do you want me to be in marriage?” These questions are informing me of God’s desire for me in relationships.

I hope this blog encourages you to seek God about your relationships and to trust that He knows best!

 

Be sensible.

Be fools.