process – SENSIBLE FOOL

The Danger of Comparison

You don’t usually know what comparison is robbing you of in the moment; but rest assured, the loss is great. Why compare yourself to an unfinished product who’s comparing themselves to another unfinished product?

You don’t even think about it. You walk into a room; it happens. You scroll on Instagram; it happens. You go to the mall; it happens. You enjoy a family holiday; it happens. You breathe; it happens. As much as you may tell yourself, it’s not just you. We all do it; whether or not we’d like to admit it. What is this thing we all do? Drumroll, please!

Compare.

We compare ourselves to anyone and everyone. Comparison is almost as first-nature as breathing. We don’t even have to think about it.

It’s not anything new. It is natural for humans to desire approval from other humans. Therefore, we examine what is ‘normal’ and ‘acceptable’ and we model ourselves after this.

It’s interesting though. In a culture in which this idea of ‘living your own truth’ is so prevalent, comparison is still so high. We encourage people to be unique and individualistic no matter the consequences. Still, people find themselves comparing themselves to others.

What makes us do this?

Well, there is an inner moral system within every human which governs their ideas about the world and the decisions they make. Some call it our ‘conscience.’ C.S. Lewis, in his book Mere Christianity, supposes there is a sort of universal law. This universal law is a preset standard against which all humans examine human behavior.

We have evidence of this in our natural inclination toward saying things like, ‘He shouldn’t have done that,’ or ‘that’s not fair.’ There is this natural belief that there is a specific way to behave even if there is no law or rule to indicate this. These thoughts often come from a natural preference.

While our culture or religious beliefs may largely influence these ideas, there is evidence that this natural inclination toward an invisible universal law exists beyond these contexts. In other words, your religious beliefs or culture upbringing are not the exclusive influences on what you deem right or wrong. Moving on.

The existence of a universal law in and of itself does not explain why we compare ourselves to others. Let’s look deeper. Let’s go back to the beginning.

The first book of the Bible, Genesis, provides an account of the creation story in which God created what we see and what we don’t see (Genesis 1:1). You can follow the beautiful story from Chapter 1 to Chapter 2 which goes into greater detail.

Chapter 3 records the story popularly titled as ‘The Fall.’ It’s the story of how man went from having this perfect intimate relationship with God to running away in shame due to their sin. Prior to the fall, we discover this beautiful relationship between God and humans. God gave humans dominion (authority and ownership) over the earth. God blessed them and all was well.

Unfortunately, the fall distorted everything. Where wholeness and perfection once rested, brokenness entered. We began to seek our own which is always less than what God has and had given.

Before, our image and identity was found in God. After, our identity was being shifted and conformed to other broken images. We gave up the image of God and elevated created things rather than the Creator.

We think that when we compare ourselves to others, we’re just trying to dress like them, talk like them, or have friends like they have. There’s so much more to comparison than that.

Comparison is a thief of joy.

Comparison is a thief of identity.

Comparison kills.

Comparison works against the intimate process we find ourselves in.

The Bible says, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters” (Romans 8:29).

This reveals that God is trying to shape us to look like His Son, Yeshua (Jesus) the Christ. We are to look so much like Him because we are of the same lineage; “firstborn among many brothers and sister.”

You don’t usually know what comparison is robbing you of in the moment; but rest assured, the loss is great.

It will never truly benefit you to measure or compare yourself to others. They’re broken also. God is still conforming and shaping them to look like His Son. Why compare yourself to an unfinished product who’s comparing themselves to another unfinished product?

Make sure your foundation is built on and rooted in Christ. Anything else will fail. Christianity will fail. Religion will fail. Looks will fail. Riches will fail. Relationships fail.

Only the WORD of God will last forever.

*I do not own (or the rights to) the featured image.*

To Be Honest…

To be honest, I don’t always receive answers for my questions. I don’t always know if something worthwhile will come of my efforts. I don’t always feel heard. I don’t always feel valued. I don’t always feel secure. I’m not always sure.

To be honest, I don’t have some extremely enlightening thing to say tonight. This week has been incredibly difficult as I’ve strived to reach goals I’ve set for myself or standards I’m expecting myself to maintain.

This week, I encountered a lot of stumbling blocks in my thinking that are keeping me from moving forward into what I know is for me.

In this season in my life, I’m being stretched in every area of my life. Even in the areas in which there isn’t a great demand, there is demand nonetheless.

I want to be better than I was yesterday and today, because who I want to be tomorrow is going to require something different from me.

This has been a season of immense growth for me. The growth hasn’t always shown up through intense trials. Sometimes, it’s been learning how to receive good things or opportunities.

It’s been a process. In this process, I’ve not always been able to see the end from the beginning. I’m currently living in a state of existence in which there is no resolve.

In other words, I don’t always receive answers for my questions. I don’t always know if something worthwhile will come of my efforts. I don’t always feel heard. I don’t always feel valued. I don’t always feel secure. I’m not always sure.

However, I believe this process in which I find myself is a step in the right direction. It’s a part of a maturation process. I’m not allowing myself to suppress tough questions about which I was once sure or unspeakable flaws I discover in myself.

There is still something in me that’s holding on to Philippians 1:6; “He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it.”

So, to be honest, I’d rather be honest. Everything I write about on this blog, I am challenged first to believe or grapple with. Before it is ever posted, I have to confront wrong thinking or hindrances in my life. I’m realizing that in order to grow, I must first be honest and transparent about where I find myself.

May you have the courage to do the same.

Happy reading!

Over and out.

I’m Frustrated…

I’m frustrated with where I am. It’s not particularly bad, but it’s not exactly where I want to be (not just in the future, but at this point in my life). Sometimes I wish I could snap my finger and be there. But, it doesn’t work that way. Some things have to happen between now and then. It’s a process.

“The process”

I think subconsciously, most of us hate this phrase. Our disdain for it speaks to the reality of our impatience and laziness as a society. We want everything NOW. Very rarely are we willing to work/wait for ANYTHING. This is evidenced in the inclination towards convenience (fast food, crash diets, express everything, etc.).

Somehow, in our convenience-oriented culture, very significant virtues have gone right down the drain; our patience, integrity, & authenticity following right along with them.

[I say this with the very same breath that utters words of frustration when McDonald’s doesn’t come through as quickly as I’d like. Like dude, chill. It’s fast food. Even when they’re slow, they’re faster than most. So relax.]

Now, there’s nothing wrong with desiring quality and punctuality. The issue is we forget that oftentimes, quality requires ‘process.’ I started this blog to encourage people to embrace the part of the process they find themselves in. Embrace it. Not so tightly that you declare it your final resting place; but tight enough to where you allow humility, grace, and contentment to be built in you for use in the seasons to come.

Like me, I’m sure some of you are at interesting checkpoints in your process. Every situation has the ability to draw on what’s in you and expose the condition of your heart. So don’t despise any part of the process. There are things you are walking through now that are helping to get rid of negativity in you that cannot stay where you will be later.

Remember, God has a plan. It’s a cliché, but it’s true. The sooner you get used to adhering to His, the more peace you will have at any stage of your process. Remember, success is not some far away thing to achieve when everyone is lined up to notice and give you shout-outs. Success comes in how we live our everyday life. Success is now.

Additionally, success looks different for everyone. It doesn’t always include a stage or a ridiculously enlarged bank account, or global notoriety. To live someone else’s version of success is not success at all. For it is failure to complete YOUR purpose.
But, I understand. There is always pressure to achieve a certain type of success. But don’t let the pressure of people’s opinions cause you to despise where you are now. Be humble. Embrace the process. Treasure the success you achieve every day. Walk uprightly. For it is not truly success unless God declares it is.

Happy reading!

Like, comment, and share if you enjoyed what you read today!

Why I Started A Blog

The following is what I was going to write as my first blog post. My computer crashed and I lost access to all of my blog posts. Since then, I have changed the name to “sensible fool.” However, I believe the following still embodies the purpose of this blog. So read on. Por favor.

–

So…I’m starting a blog. It’s been a long time coming, but I wanted to wait until I was certain I was doing it for the right reason and that it would be ultimately beneficial in the lives of my future readers. I’m aware many people are not surprised by my move to this. “Darveiye, you have so much to say, you should start a blog!” If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard someone say that…

I’d have three dollas and some change (at least 27 cents).

Needless to say, I never thought having a lot to say was a good enough reason to start a blog. One. Some things are better left unsaid. Two. It can cause a person to believe they are the final authority on certain issues. Three. It’s ultimately self-destructive to think of yourself that way; which leads me to the purpose for this blog. I’m sure you caught the bi-line.

“Introspection per His direction…”

But whatever does it mean? Introspection, in essence, is the practice of self-observation. ‘His’ or ‘Him’ is God; thereby meaning God is the very lens by which we look within ourselves. Additionally, we adjust ourselves according to what He says and He requires. Secondly:

Raising the standard.

I have found, as have many of you, if we continue to do the same things over and over again, we remain exactly where we started. There are things to be done in this world that have never been done and we will never get them done doing the same thing over and over. Ask Einstein.

Given my track record, one or more of these blog posts will offend you. Heck, I offend myself as I’m writing them. But that’s not always a bad thing. If we’re never offended, we’re never challenged to grow. And if we’re never challenged to grow, we won’t change. And if we don’t change, the world around us remains the same. And by the looks of it, that’s not really an option.

So yes. I’m starting a blog and it’s about each and every one of us. The purpose is to challenge us all to inspect and adjust ourselves before we attempt to do the same to others. History shows us that real change happens when the faces in the mirror are changed first! But remember, this isn’t about becoming ‘good’ people. The world has enough of those. There’s good in all of us. But good isn’t always God even though God is always good.

So let’s be introspective. But let’s not leave out the second half. It’s for us to live the way He says we should. So we seek Him.

I hope you enjoy reading as we journey together as sensible fools in a senseless world.

Thanks for reading!

Be blessed.

Over and Out.