To be honest, I don’t have some extremely enlightening thing to say tonight. This week has been incredibly difficult as I’ve strived to reach goals I’ve set for myself or standards I’m expecting myself to maintain.
This week, I encountered a lot of stumbling blocks in my thinking that are keeping me from moving forward into what I know is for me.
In this season in my life, I’m being stretched in every area of my life. Even in the areas in which there isn’t a great demand, there is demand nonetheless.
I want to be better than I was yesterday and today, because who I want to be tomorrow is going to require something different from me.
This has been a season of immense growth for me. The growth hasn’t always shown up through intense trials. Sometimes, it’s been learning how to receive good things or opportunities.
It’s been a process. In this process, I’ve not always been able to see the end from the beginning. I’m currently living in a state of existence in which there is no resolve.
In other words, I don’t always receive answers for my questions. I don’t always know if something worthwhile will come of my efforts. I don’t always feel heard. I don’t always feel valued. I don’t always feel secure. I’m not always sure.
However, I believe this process in which I find myself is a step in the right direction. It’s a part of a maturation process. I’m not allowing myself to suppress tough questions about which I was once sure or unspeakable flaws I discover in myself.
There is still something in me that’s holding on to Philippians 1:6; “He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it.”
So, to be honest, I’d rather be honest. Everything I write about on this blog, I am challenged first to believe or grapple with. Before it is ever posted, I have to confront wrong thinking or hindrances in my life. I’m realizing that in order to grow, I must first be honest and transparent about where I find myself.
May you have the courage to do the same.
Over and out.