Tag: blog

You Are Not Enough

This blog comes due to a question I was going to ask a friend: How do you see what’s wrong with you and still love yourself or believe you’re worthy of good things?

This is my response to my own question.

There are two (at least) dangerous lies circulating society.

You are worthy.
You are enough.

Yes. You read that correctly.
Yes. I said it (insert Nene Leakes meme hither).

I have believed or attempted to believe these lies in an effort to live at peace with myself. It’s the message of beauty campaigns, magazines, hashtag movements, daily affirmations, pep talks, etc.

However, I have found the very opposite is true.

You are not worthy.
You are not enough.

Believing you are either of these two things facilitates the act of self worship–idolatry.

First. The very fact that we present that we are worthy of something is a belief that we’ve done enough to deserve this thing. (Granted, faith is a principle which governs the systems of the world–you can demonstrate by your works what you believe and attract what you’re expecting.)

However, we’ve misapplied this term or idea of worthiness. There is only One that is worthy. That’s YAH. There is none other.

Second–in tandem, you cannot do enough to be “deserving” or “worthy.” Your value is not what you do or in what you’ve done. Life is not the rewards system we often think it is. Do this and you get that. Do this and you’ll be worthy of that. Life is random and unfair. So, how will we have peace when things happen we feel we don’t deserve?

For humans, I get why we desire to feel worthy. Therein lies a belief that if I see something as bigger than myself and worthy of worship/praise, I am no longer valuable. This is not true. You can never truly know who you are until you know whose you are. Now, if you choose to only belong to yourself, you shall never experience the fullness of who you were made to be.

Knowing whose you are gives meaning and direction to your life. If you are His, it helps you see the tiny important part you play without blowing it out of proportion or minimizing it to a level that insults the One who made you (belonging to yourself).

It was never intended to be a trade off in which either YAH is good and worthy or I am good and worthy. We were meant to exist within a reality that says YAH who is worthy of every praise we could ever give demonstrates His character in that He takes care of us. The very fact that the most powerful being would seek to see about you ascribes far more worth than you could ever give yourself.

So, these lies…

1. I’m not enough because I am not complete. He takes care of me–indicating my need for Him. I am not complete without Him.

Tangent: When I say He takes care of me, it does not mean He gives me everything I want and does not allow me to experience pain. Instead, it means He has care for me. He cares about me. If He controlled every single aspect of my life, that would prove He cares more about Himself than anything else. That’s not love. He would have the need to control everything because His very nature was contingent on it. But, because YAH’s existence and nature is not contingent on anything else around Him, He has no need to control every single thing in order to prove He is who He says He is. He’s still Him when things look contrary. He is complete within Himself. He is ONE with Himself.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming:

2. I am not worthy because even my righteousness is filthy rags before Him. I cannot produce anything pure aside from Him. I need Him to even be right.

This shouldn’t paint a picture of self-hate. Instead, it should encourage adoration of Him. He’s beautiful and has made me to be beautiful–complete, lacking nothing. That cannot happen apart from Him or His people.

Self-hatred is an incorrect reaction to the beauty of YAH. Rest is the correct response to the beauty of YAH.

Resting in Him is a life of true Sabbath. I shall not go outside of Him to have my needs met. (This does not mean He doesn’t meet needs through people–that’s His model). I enter true rest knowing that nothing but Him causes me to be complete–whole, lacking nothing. I rest knowing that true connection to Him (not religion) can save me. I rest knowing I don’t and can’t be enough on my own.

When I am perfect (always connected to Him), I rest.

The systems of the world don’t provide rest.
Religion doesn’t provide rest.
Status doesn’t provide rest.
Education doesn’t provide rest.
Wealth doesn’t provide rest.
Power doesn’t provide rest.

All of these things can only imitate what YAH intends to do and be for His people. We often go outside of Him so that we can prove we don’t need Him. This reveals an insecurity in the human race. We are weak and hate it. We hate the idea of needing a Being we employ faith to believe in. So, we find ways outside of Him that are only imitations of Him:

The systems of the world: He is the King of an unseen kingdom.
Religion: He is what is sacred.
Status: He has no need to prove his importance. Humans have merely discovered it.
Education: He is knowledge.
Wealth: He is wealth.
Power: He is power.

Humans seek to replicate who YAH is to prove they don’t need Him–thus proving they do. This is the tireless grind of the human life. Can I ascend without Him?

Relationship with Him is an invitation to rest from your efforts to prove you don’t need Him.

Messiah said even His burden is LIGHT. Even work is rest in the Almighty.

“For My yoke is gentle and My burden is light.”

Mattithyahu (Matthew) 11:30 TS2009

True belief in Him is rest. It’s rest from all the work you used to do to make yourself SEEM right (complete). Now you are right. Now you are His.

So, enter that rest.

When Pain Is Your Mistress

When Pain Is Your Mistress

I don’t always know how to be happy and I’d hazard a guess that I’m not the only one.

Happiness is one of the most elusive concepts humans pursue. Most of the time, we’re mistaken about what will actually make us happy. We get it and are abysmally disappointed. More money, a relationship, new job, influence, power, etc., are just a few things we often believe will bring us happiness. (Mo’ money, mo’ problems).

Interestingly enough, we don’t have to desire things that are inherently bad in order to be disappointed once we get them. The reality is, nothing on this earth could ever or will ever satisfy the longing for fulfillment. Only God can. Some things seem to get really close, but fall short every single time. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t desire things, relationships, money, or influence. Instead, we must remember that in all things, we must ask, ‘why do I want what I want?’

Many of us have no trouble desiring things. For some of us, however, desiring anything good is an arduous task. Life experiences and disappointments have taught us not to expect anything good or for it to last very long. Our inner system of belief begins to tell us, ‘don’t get too attached,’ or ‘don’t get your hopes up.’ These thoughts come when your belief system is being run by doubt and fear.

Pastor Marcus Howard says, “Fear is not an emotion. It is the absence of emotion; because you don’t know what to expect, you fear. Fear is a toxin eating up the core of your belief.” I’ve heard him expound further saying, “fear comes because of a lack of expectation.”  

Our life experiences teach us what to expect or what not to expect. Painful experiences teach us it’s not worth hoping for something better. Sometimes, we become so familiar with our pain, that we forget how to be happy. We forget to receive the joy that’s been given to us through Christ.

Let’s talk about joy and happiness. If you ask a random person, they’ll tell you that joy and happiness are one in the same. I understand from where we get this idea. However, let’s look at Scripture for a second. Many of the verses that mention joy speak of it in spite of something.  Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (James 1:2-3).

We don’t experience joy because things are going well. We experiencing joy whether or not things are going well. Happiness is different. Happiness requires a particular condition. ‘I’m happy because _______.’ This means: if the reason for which I’m happy changes, so does my happiness with it. If I’m happy as long as I’m in a relationship, then the moment I’m single, I cease to be happy.

Joy is different. Joy is an assurance, a steadfastness, being immovable in the knowledge that everything is going to be alright. This kind of joy is only possible through knowledge of the One in whom there is assurance: Christ.

Oddly, joy is more natural than depression, anxiety, worry, doubt, or fear. It’s who God is. When you choose to have relationship with God through Christ, you choose everything that comes with Him. You marry (figuratively and spiritually) yourself to Him and the two of you become one.

Similarly, when you are friends with someone, the two of you begin to share the same vocabulary, ideals, and gestures. When you accept Christ, you begin to share in who He is.  Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory” (Romans 8:17).  What is Christ’s is ours. (What’s mine is yours. What’s your is mine. Marriage.)

Joy is a result of that relationship. Peace is a result of that relationship. Patience is a product of that relationship. Galatians 5:22 says, But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” 

Christ teaches that we will go through difficult times (John 16:33). Don’t marry yourself to your pain. It’s not a healthy relationship. It doesn’t serve you the way a husband and wife serve each other in marriage. It only weighs you down. Nevertheless, realize you will experience pain, but remember what the outcome ought to be. It’s there to perfect your faith.

For further study: 2 Timothy 1:7, John 16:33, Romans 8

Happy reading!

Over and out.

 

*I do not own the rights to or the featured photo. I made small edits for the sake of the post.*

10 Things To Know About Me

10 Things To Know About Me

This feels strange.

I never know what to say when someone asks me to tell them about myself. Technically, no one asked me; but y’all gone learn today! Normally, when someone asks me to talk about myself, I stick to things that are safe; things that don’t require much vulnerability. I won’t promise I’ll spill my entire heart today; but I’ll share some things about me (10 things to be exact).

I’ve got to at least introduce myself at some point.

Hi! My name is Darveiye Michel Flemming (We can talk about the pronunciation another time). I’m the creator of this blog, Sensible Fool. How ever you’ve found your way here, thank you. I appreciate every like, comment, share, question, and critique. It means a lot. So, thank you for your support!

Leggo.

1. I grew up with 2 older brothers and 4 younger sisters; all of which names start with ‘D.’ (Durell, Diante, Darveiye, DeShara, Danielle, Drew, and Destiny) Shout out to y’all! Y’all are the best.

2. I was born in Chicago. However, honestly, I don’t really claim Chi-town like that. I’m an Okie.

3. I began my relationship with Christ when I was 5. It’s a beautiful story. I’ll have to tell it on here one day.

4. I went through a few lengthy periods of atheism in which I genuinely believed God wasn’t real.

5. My favorite colors are blue and green. I believe they’re the most natural beautiful colors.

6. I play keys and guitar. Music has always been a passion of mine; worship moreso.

7. I speak English and Spanish; and a little bit of a lot of different languages. Entonces, si hable español, háblame para que yo podría practicar. ¡Besos!

8. I love film. I often have very spirited discussions about it. So, be prepared.

9. My favorite animals are tigers and great white sharks. I plan to swim with sharks at some point in my life. Sharks are also another subject you can prepare to get into an argument with me. Don’t ask. Or do. The choice is yours.

10. I teach precious immigrant and refugee children English as a second language. It’s incredibly rewarding and challenging. They keep me laughing and constantly asking myself, “what the heck is going on?”

11. BONUS. I’ve danced hip-hop for the majority of my life. Don’t ask me to show you a move though. I tend to get a little shy for some strange reason.

Anyway, those are just a few fun facts about me. I hope you enjoyed reading this! Please comment some fun facts about yourself. I’d love to hear who’s reading these posts.

Happy reading!

Over and out.

Forgive But Never Forget Pt. 2

Forgive But Never Forget Pt. 2

Let’s get back to it. Shall we?

If you have not read Part 1, I suggest you do so before reading this post. It may help you better understand. Find it here: Forgive But Never Forget.

In Part 1, we learned the meaning of forgiveness in the Biblical sense. Webster’s Dictionary says it means, “to cease to feel resentment against (an offender); pardon; to give up resentment of or claim to requital; and to grant relief from payment of.” That’s a very interesting take on forgiveness. We can work with that.

You know, it’s funny. We could know the definition of forgiveness and still not feel prepared to forgive. First thing’s first: we don’t have to feel like forgiving someone. It’s a choice. Secondly, there are various hindrances (obstacles) to forgiveness. We’ll explore one of them in this post. It may be yours.

One of the hindrances to forgiveness is having the wrong ideology. 

Many of us are so hurt when someone commits an offence against us because we believe we’d never do that if we were them . Truthfully, many of us are right. We’d never do what they did under those same circumstances. However, sometimes it takes a different set of circumstances for us to commit the same kind of offence.

During my freshman year of college, our university’s president, Dr. Mark Rutland, said something that completely changed my life. He said (this is as accurate as I can remember), “Every human being is capable of committing the most heinous act.” He went on to explain that while people may have to be motivated by different things, they are capable of doing the same terrible thing.

You may say, “I would never cheat on someone.” The reality is: you have the capacity to cheat in a relationship. While they may have cheated on you because they were bored or manipulative, you may cheat because you feel neglected. See? Same offence. Different motivations. Realizing that we too are capable of doing what someone did to us can help forgiveness and grace (we need to talk about that; another time perhaps) to overwhelm our hearts.

“Well, I haven’t cheated before! Never in my life!” You’re right. You may not have. However, consider that it may be simply because you’ve not been presented with the right opportunity and the right motivation. Just something to think about…

This idea works in tandem with this increasingly popular phrase, “don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.” “But Darveiye, I didn’t do anything as bad as they did! I’ve never done what they did!” This is part of the problem. We ascribe levels to sin and conveniently our sin is never really “that bad.” We can easily find justification for our every deed. We struggle to forgive because we see their sin differently than our own. 

For example, many of us may see someone having premarital sex (sex outside of marriage) as being worse than the “little white lie” we told. To God, it’s all sin. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).”

This means everyone is inclined to sin and cannot meet God’s standard of righteousness on their own (this is why Christ came). We are all born with a sinful nature that yearns to do what is contrary to the nature of the God who created us. This is important because it means no matter whether you lie, cheat, or murder, we’re ALL in need of grace and forgiveness. There’s that word again.

Grace. It sounds so pretty; but it’s messy, profound, and reckless. See, God didn’t wait until we got our act together to reconcile us back to Himself. He didn’t wait for a 90-day money-back guarantee. He did it while we were still in our mess. “For God demonstrates His love toward us; in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).” The Bible talks about the fact that people will rarely die for a good man, let alone a bad one. Yet, God didn’t need our guarantee when He made the decision to rescue us.

That’s another hindrance to forgiveness: we want a guarantee. We want to know that if we forgive someone, they’ll never do it again. We want to know that if we forgive someone, they’ll spend so much time “making it up to us.” There is no “making it up” in forgiveness. Forgiveness removes the very requirement to “make it up” or “pay the debt.”

Some questions to ponder…

Do you have the courage to forgive someone today even if you’re not sure they’ll change their ways?  Will you forgive them even if they didn’t think they needed your forgiveness? Will you forgive them while they’re still in their mess? It doesn’t mean you have to go back to the same level of intimacy you once shared with that person; but will you forgive? Will you let go?

There are many other hindrances to forgiveness that I’d like to explore. So, stay tuned for another post in the very near future!

Before you go, I’d like to say (type) a prayer over you.

Father,

I thank You for being good even when we’re not. Thank You for being good even when the world around us is not. God, thank you for forgiving us. Give us the strength and peace to forgive those who have hurt us. Help us see how we have hurt others. Heal us from the pain. Make us new again.

In Yeshua’s (Jesus) Name,

Amen.

 

Happy Reading!

Over and out.

 

*I do not own (the rights to) the featured photo.

Why I Started A Blog

Why I Started A Blog

The following is what I was going to write as my first blog post. My computer crashed and I lost access to all of my blog posts. Since then, I have changed the name to “sensible fool.” However, I believe the following still embodies the purpose of this blog. So read on. Por favor.

So…I’m starting a blog. It’s been a long time coming, but I wanted to wait until I was certain I was doing it for the right reason and that it would be ultimately beneficial in the lives of my future readers. I’m aware many people are not surprised by my move to this. “Darveiye, you have so much to say, you should start a blog!” If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard someone say that…

I’d have three dollas and some change (at least 27 cents).

Needless to say, I never thought having a lot to say was a good enough reason to start a blog. One. Some things are better left unsaid. Two. It can cause a person to believe they are the final authority on certain issues. Three. It’s ultimately self-destructive to think of yourself that way; which leads me to the purpose for this blog. I’m sure you caught the bi-line.

“Introspection per His direction…”

But whatever does it mean? Introspection, in essence, is the practice of self-observation. ‘His’ or ‘Him’ is God; thereby meaning God is the very lens by which we look within ourselves. Additionally, we adjust ourselves according to what He says and He requires. Secondly:

Raising the standard.

I have found, as have many of you, if we continue to do the same things over and over again, we remain exactly where we started. There are things to be done in this world that have never been done and we will never get them done doing the same thing over and over. Ask Einstein.

Given my track record, one or more of these blog posts will offend you. Heck, I offend myself as I’m writing them. But that’s not always a bad thing. If we’re never offended, we’re never challenged to grow. And if we’re never challenged to grow, we won’t change. And if we don’t change, the world around us remains the same. And by the looks of it, that’s not really an option.

So yes. I’m starting a blog and it’s about each and every one of us. The purpose is to challenge us all to inspect and adjust ourselves before we attempt to do the same to others. History shows us that real change happens when the faces in the mirror are changed first! But remember, this isn’t about becoming ‘good’ people. The world has enough of those. There’s good in all of us. But good isn’t always God even though God is always good.

So let’s be introspective. But let’s not leave out the second half. It’s for us to live the way He says we should. So we seek Him.

I hope you enjoy reading as we journey together as sensible fools in a senseless world.

 

Thanks for reading!

Be blessed.

Over and Out.