Category: Inspiration

Curse Words

Listen. I’m one of those people that if they cursed, it just wouldn’t sound right. You’d much rather me find alternative words. You’d just look at me in disgust. Some of us are professionals though! It could go on a resume as a technical skill. You know the ins and outs about what words to pair together and which are “appropriate” for what situation. You’ve got skills.

A lot of us didn’t know curse wasn’t spelled “cuss.” It’s okay bro. You learn something new every day.

This will not be a lesson in the art of cursing given that I am highly unqualified. We’re going to talk about curse words, but not the ones you may be thinking of. I’m referring to them as curse words because of the way we typically respond to them and the effect they have on us.

One of my favorite/most hated curse words is ‘vulnerability.’ Vulnerability is the capacity or act of being vulnerable; subject or susceptible to attack or defenseless.  Ugh. I used to cringe when I would hear this word. I would respond that way because past experiences taught me to guard myself.

The last thing I want to do is open myself up for you to hurt me. When you are vulnerable, you are without shield (physical or intangible). Many see vulnerability as a trait that only comes if someone is weak. Au contraire.

Vulnerability requires strength. Vulnerability builds intimacy. Intimacy is the result of allowing someone to ‘see into you.’ Intimacy —-> ‘into me you see.’ No one can see into you if you’re fortified and guarded with no access points. Vulnerability is the vehicle by which we offer access into who we are. This promotes healing, freedom, and peace.

Integrity is another ‘curse word’ some of us are familiar with. We often equate integrity with honesty. Honesty is a part of integrity, but it’s not the same thing. A lot of us would probably claim that we’re honest people. If someone were to ask us a generally personal question, we might be willing to give them an ‘honest’ response.

We may even feel as if we’ve done our good deed for the day. However, honesty is the lowest form of integrity. It’s not that difficult to answer an uncomfortable question IF it’s actually asked of you. Most of the time, people don’t ask the right questions that would reveal the truth about what we think, have done, or have said. 

To choose to reveal information without being asked is not honesty, but transparency. (I’m just cursing up a storm today!) We don’t like being encouraged to be transparent because it requires vulnerability. We resist transparency because we feel as if answering the questions asked was enough. Integrity is revealing the information even if I’m not asked for it. 

If I don’t acknowledge something, I don’t and can’t grow from it.

Let’s see what God says about it. This is Yeshua talking. Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” 

Let’s break it down.

If you are communing with God in any way and you are reminded that there is someone who feels as if you’ve wronged them; go be reconciled to them. Go resolve the issue so that “a harmonious relationship” is possible again.

Pastor Marcus Howard talks about the necessity of reconciliation. He defines (to the best of my remembrance) reconciliation as “the process by which harmonious relationship is restored.” Many of us think forgiveness is enough. However, if we forgive but have refuse to reconcile, it’s a sign we haven’t truly forgiven.

This process of reconciliation doesn’t allow you to wait until the offended person comes to you. It requires you to be vulnerable and engage with them. Many of us would do this, but our biggest hindrance to reconciliation is pride.

Pride tells us, “if they’ve got a problem, they should say something,” or “I’m not about to go out of my way to make them feel better.” Pride will arrest your heart and keep you prisoner in the prison of offence. It then becomes difficult to forgive because now you’re requiring forgiveness from another.

Essentially, I’m telling you that these are the kind of curse words we need in our lives. They don’t feel good. They don’t sound good. They offend our pride. They require a radical response oftentimes; but they nourish our relationships.

So be vulnerable. Be transparent. Be integral. Be reconciled.

 

Happy reading!

Over and out.

 

*I do not own the rights to or the featured photo.”

When Pain Is Your Mistress

I don’t always know how to be happy and I’d hazard a guess that I’m not the only one. Life experiences and disappointments have taught us not to expect anything good or for it to last very long.

I don’t always know how to be happy and I’d hazard a guess that I’m not the only one.

Happiness is one of the most elusive concepts humans pursue. Most of the time, we’re mistaken about what will actually make us happy. We get it and are abysmally disappointed. More money, a relationship, new job, influence, power, etc., are just a few things we often believe will bring us happiness. (Mo’ money, mo’ problems).

Interestingly enough, we don’t have to desire things that are inherently bad in order to be disappointed once we get them. The reality is, nothing on this earth could ever or will ever satisfy the longing for fulfillment. Only God can. Some things seem to get really close, but fall short every single time. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t desire things, relationships, money, or influence. Instead, we must remember that in all things, we must ask, ‘why do I want what I want?’

Many of us have no trouble desiring things. For some of us, however, desiring anything good is an arduous task. Life experiences and disappointments have taught us not to expect anything good or for it to last very long. Our inner system of belief begins to tell us, ‘don’t get too attached,’ or ‘don’t get your hopes up.’ These thoughts come when your belief system is being run by doubt and fear.

Pastor Marcus Howard says, “Fear is not an emotion. It is the absence of emotion; because you don’t know what to expect, you fear. Fear is a toxin eating up the core of your belief.” I’ve heard him expound further saying, “fear comes because of a lack of expectation.”  

Our life experiences teach us what to expect or what not to expect. Painful experiences teach us it’s not worth hoping for something better. Sometimes, we become so familiar with our pain, that we forget how to be happy. We forget to receive the joy that’s been given to us through Christ.

Let’s talk about joy and happiness. If you ask a random person, they’ll tell you that joy and happiness are one in the same. I understand from where we get this idea. However, let’s look at Scripture for a second. Many of the verses that mention joy speak of it in spite of something.  “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (James 1:2-3).

We don’t experience joy because things are going well. We experiencing joy whether or not things are going well. Happiness is different. Happiness requires a particular condition. ‘I’m happy because _______.’ This means: if the reason for which I’m happy changes, so does my happiness with it. If I’m happy as long as I’m in a relationship, then the moment I’m single, I cease to be happy.

Joy is different. Joy is an assurance, a steadfastness, being immovable in the knowledge that everything is going to be alright. This kind of joy is only possible through knowledge of the One in whom there is assurance: Christ.

Oddly, joy is more natural than depression, anxiety, worry, doubt, or fear. It’s who God is. When you choose to have relationship with God through Christ, you choose everything that comes with Him. You marry (figuratively and spiritually) yourself to Him and the two of you become one.

Similarly, when you are friends with someone, the two of you begin to share the same vocabulary, ideals, and gestures. When you accept Christ, you begin to share in who He is.  “Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory” (Romans 8:17).  What is Christ’s is ours. (What’s mine is yours. What’s your is mine. Marriage.)

Joy is a result of that relationship. Peace is a result of that relationship. Patience is a product of that relationship. Galatians 5:22 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” 

Christ teaches that we will go through difficult times (John 16:33). Don’t marry yourself to your pain. It’s not a healthy relationship. It doesn’t serve you the way a husband and wife serve each other in marriage. It only weighs you down. Nevertheless, realize you will experience pain, but remember what the outcome ought to be. It’s there to perfect your faith.

For further study: 2 Timothy 1:7, John 16:33, Romans 8

Happy reading!

Over and out.

 

*I do not own the rights to or the featured photo. I made small edits for the sake of the post.*

Ctrl, Alt, Del

“We don’t have to ponder on what was or wasn’t, but what is and will be. The true treasure is found in our applying lessons of yesterday to today.”

Control. Alt. Delete. This is my go-to when a computer decides to act rachet (see urban dictionary). When you enter that combination, your computer SHOULD give you the option to restart or shut down. When that doesn’t work, then you KNOW something is wrong. If only life worked this way…

Sometimes, you just wish you could start over. Maybe not completely; but many of us have a point in our life, we’d quickly consider starting things over from. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with wanting things to have been a certain way. There’s probably nothing wrong with wanting to do things differently.

However, I believe the true treasure is found in our applying lessons of yesterday to today. We don’t have to meditate on should’ve, would’ve, or could’ve. We don’t have to ponder on what was or wasn’t, but what is and will be.

My saying this does not mean I’ve never thought, “Man, I could’ve done this if THAT had never happened. I would’ve been here if THIS had never happened.” I’ve had more than my fair share in meditating on the past and still struggle with it from time to time. My issue, most of the time, is thinking TOO MUCH about the future. God, help me.

If I had to choose between dwelling on the past and regretting past decisions, or getting the most out of where I am now and having hope for the future, I’d choose the latter. I’ve reached a place where I’d rather keep pressing forward to see that which God has prepared for me. As afraid as I am of the future at times, I have confidence that whatever lies before me is surmountable if my eyes are on Christ.

The book of Hebrews says it best.  “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything(every weight) that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:1-2).”

Dwelling on the past hinders us from reaching true purpose. Sin will entangle you and keep you from reaching purpose. We have to throw aside EVERY weight. Don’t let the past be a weight that slows you down from reaching purpose.

Here are some things to hold on to if you find yourself regretting your past or feeling like you’ve wasted time:

We don’t get to change how we started, but we can affect how we finish. There are experiences I’ve had that were not life-giving that at times shook my faith that anything good could ever happen. Even when I don’t know how the good will come or when the good will come, deep down, I know it will. I hang my hat on that.

Your future is brighter than your past.

The people you surround yourself with affect your future. Find some people in your life to hold you accountable and encourage you to move forward in your life.

God uses the good as well as the bad. So, even if it hurts or hurt, God will use it to produce something beautiful (if you let Him).

Keep your eyes on Christ. We become what we focus on. If my eyes are set on Christ, my identity is no longer found in the things I did or didn’t do in my past, but in Him.

God is a redeemer of time. This should not encourage us to waste time. Instead, it should encourage us that if we’ve turned in the right direction that the things of the past will be used for our benefit and His glory.

I hope this has encouraged you today. Keep your eyes fixed on Christ.

Happy reading!

Over and out.

 

*I do not own (the rights to) featured picture.

I’m Frustrated…

I’m frustrated with where I am. It’s not particularly bad, but it’s not exactly where I want to be (not just in the future, but at this point in my life). Sometimes I wish I could snap my finger and be there. But, it doesn’t work that way. Some things have to happen between now and then. It’s a process.

“The process”

I think subconsciously, most of us hate this phrase. Our disdain for it speaks to the reality of our impatience and laziness as a society. We want everything NOW. Very rarely are we willing to work/wait for ANYTHING. This is evidenced in the inclination towards convenience (fast food, crash diets, express everything, etc.).

Somehow, in our convenience-oriented culture, very significant virtues have gone right down the drain; our patience, integrity, & authenticity following right along with them.

[I say this with the very same breath that utters words of frustration when McDonald’s doesn’t come through as quickly as I’d like. Like dude, chill. It’s fast food. Even when they’re slow, they’re faster than most. So relax.]

Now, there’s nothing wrong with desiring quality and punctuality. The issue is we forget that oftentimes, quality requires ‘process.’ I started this blog to encourage people to embrace the part of the process they find themselves in. Embrace it. Not so tightly that you declare it your final resting place; but tight enough to where you allow humility, grace, and contentment to be built in you for use in the seasons to come.

Like me, I’m sure some of you are at interesting checkpoints in your process. Every situation has the ability to draw on what’s in you and expose the condition of your heart. So don’t despise any part of the process. There are things you are walking through now that are helping to get rid of negativity in you that cannot stay where you will be later.

Remember, God has a plan. It’s a cliché, but it’s true. The sooner you get used to adhering to His, the more peace you will have at any stage of your process. Remember, success is not some far away thing to achieve when everyone is lined up to notice and give you shout-outs. Success comes in how we live our everyday life. Success is now.

Additionally, success looks different for everyone. It doesn’t always include a stage or a ridiculously enlarged bank account, or global notoriety. To live someone else’s version of success is not success at all. For it is failure to complete YOUR purpose.
But, I understand. There is always pressure to achieve a certain type of success. But don’t let the pressure of people’s opinions cause you to despise where you are now. Be humble. Embrace the process. Treasure the success you achieve every day. Walk uprightly. For it is not truly success unless God declares it is.

Happy reading!

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Why I Started A Blog

The following is what I was going to write as my first blog post. My computer crashed and I lost access to all of my blog posts. Since then, I have changed the name to “sensible fool.” However, I believe the following still embodies the purpose of this blog. So read on. Por favor.

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So…I’m starting a blog. It’s been a long time coming, but I wanted to wait until I was certain I was doing it for the right reason and that it would be ultimately beneficial in the lives of my future readers. I’m aware many people are not surprised by my move to this. “Darveiye, you have so much to say, you should start a blog!” If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard someone say that…

I’d have three dollas and some change (at least 27 cents).

Needless to say, I never thought having a lot to say was a good enough reason to start a blog. One. Some things are better left unsaid. Two. It can cause a person to believe they are the final authority on certain issues. Three. It’s ultimately self-destructive to think of yourself that way; which leads me to the purpose for this blog. I’m sure you caught the bi-line.

“Introspection per His direction…”

But whatever does it mean? Introspection, in essence, is the practice of self-observation. ‘His’ or ‘Him’ is God; thereby meaning God is the very lens by which we look within ourselves. Additionally, we adjust ourselves according to what He says and He requires. Secondly:

Raising the standard.

I have found, as have many of you, if we continue to do the same things over and over again, we remain exactly where we started. There are things to be done in this world that have never been done and we will never get them done doing the same thing over and over. Ask Einstein.

Given my track record, one or more of these blog posts will offend you. Heck, I offend myself as I’m writing them. But that’s not always a bad thing. If we’re never offended, we’re never challenged to grow. And if we’re never challenged to grow, we won’t change. And if we don’t change, the world around us remains the same. And by the looks of it, that’s not really an option.

So yes. I’m starting a blog and it’s about each and every one of us. The purpose is to challenge us all to inspect and adjust ourselves before we attempt to do the same to others. History shows us that real change happens when the faces in the mirror are changed first! But remember, this isn’t about becoming ‘good’ people. The world has enough of those. There’s good in all of us. But good isn’t always God even though God is always good.

So let’s be introspective. But let’s not leave out the second half. It’s for us to live the way He says we should. So we seek Him.

I hope you enjoy reading as we journey together as sensible fools in a senseless world.

 

Thanks for reading!

Be blessed.

Over and Out.

I’m Not a Christian Pt. 1

Religion, generally defined, is a specific set of beliefs and practices concerning purpose for life and deals with the idea of a supreme being or the lack thereof and its (or theirs) relation with humanity. You can examine any major or minor religion against this general definition and you’d find they line up in some fashion. Today, I’m specifically examining Christianity and its “religioners (did I just invent a word).”

There are so many traditions and fads of the Christian faith by which Christians measure the sanctity of one’s lifestyle. Does he go to church? Does he raise his hands in worship? Does she carry her Bible? Does she dress up for church? (People really consider this) The list goes onnnnnn.

We don’t simply verify one’s ‘holiness’ by what they do (go to church, carry Bible, say they’re a Christian, etc), but by what they DON’T do. “He doesn’t smoke,” “She doesn’t curse,” “We’re not as bad as so-and-so,” and many others are common phrases we hear Christianers using to justify one’s “Christian” lifestyle.

The Problem With Religion

The issue with “Christianers” is our tendency to deal with the outer appearance and oftentimes this solely. Our adherence to the specific rules and regulations of the Christian faith allow us to APPEAR holy before man.

Additionally, the struggle for Christianers is this tendency to try to Christianize the world instead of evangelize it (Matt. 28:19-20). We are so sensitive and uncomfortable around anything that’s not “Christian-like.” I’d venture to say we don’t often differentiate between what is “God-like” and “Christian-like.” This is a sad thing.

What’s so wrong with being a Christian(er)?

A “Christianer” (I’m making words up left and right) is one who believes Christianity is the Way.

Well, Darveiye I thought Christianity is the true religion, the right religion, God’s religion. Are you saying you believe Jesus isn’t the way?

No. I am not.

What I am saying is God did not create religion. Man created religion. It is the way by which we can comprehend and measure faith-based things in real time. God did NOT come to earth in flesh as Jesus so He could establish the TRUE religion. Jesus didn’t die so you could pick up a religion and wear it like a badge of honor. Jesus died so that the kingdom of heaven could be established in the hearts of man (Luke 17:20-21)! The kingdom of heaven is the RULE and REIGN of God. Jesus died that the very culture INSIDE of us would transform and return back to what God originally intended! This is why religion DOESN’T work! It focuses on how you can look holy, and “do” holy, and not BE holy ( 2 Cor. 5:21). It’s like putting flowers on a coffin. At the end of the day, the body is still dead even if the casket looks beautiful.

The truth is, the reason we are so attached to the words Christian and Christianity is because we don’t understand why God came or what He did. We don’t know because we don’t seek Him and would rather measure holiness, purity, truth against other seekers and not the one who ORIGINATED it. Simply: we measure our righteousness against the righteousness of other “Christians.” The problem with this is I never truly have a full picture of another’s righteousness. Therefore, they are not a worthy or accurate standard by which to measure my life. Thankfully, I’ve been given THE standard of TRUTH by which to measure my life. Hint: Jesus.

There’s no need to compare my works to my sister at the end of the pew when I’ve been given Christ by which to measure my heart AND therefore my works. Humans are not holy apart from God. So why use a flawed individual to determine how holy or NOT holy you are? It’s a moot cause.

If people are my only standard for holiness, I’m in trouble. Let’s take it a step further. If I am the only standard for holiness, I am in a WORLD of trouble. If all I can meditate on is how much more holy I am than others and how “if only they could live like me,” I’m in for a rude awakening. My sole ministry is to reconcile people to God (2 Cor. 5:11-21), not people to me. My life should witness unto who Jesus is (Acts 1:8). I am a deflector and reflector. I cannot be this if I don’t spend time learning and knowing who this Jesus is.

Remember, God didn’t send Jesus to give you the “right” religion, but that you could “become the righteousness of God in Him(Christ).” Holiness is not about what people see you do, what they think you are, but who God has said that you are and will be. You ARE the righteousness of God in Christ JESUS!

Scriptures to Study:

2 Corinthian 5:21

21 For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

Luke 17:20-21

20 Now when He was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, He answered them and said, “The kingdom of God does not come with observation; 21 nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’[a]For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.”

Acts 1:8

8 But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me[a] in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.

John 3:16

16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

 

I hope you enjoyed reading and are encouraged by this post!

Please comment below with questions, comments, requests, etc!

Thank you for reading!

Note: I do not own rights to the featured photo.