A little too often, I read these posts about the perfect man you’ll end up with. I wince as I read them. Granted, I applaud anyone who takes on the challenge of writing their thoughts and opinions in an orderly way so that others may benefit.
However, I think some of these posts are misleading. At least they can be. A lot of them start off describing how bad the previous guy was; how he mistreated you, how he didn’t appreciate you.
The majority of the time, they don’t say anything about how you both were not in the condition to be in a healthy mutually beneficial relationship. It’s usually all his fault. We paint this very extreme picture. While that may be true for someone, it isn’t everyone’s story. Then, in stark contrast, we begin to describe what we call Prince Charming.
Prince Charming is perfect. Prince Charming will never make you feel bad about yourself. Prince Charming will never make you sad. Prince Charming is a tall drink of water. Prince Charming worships the ground you walk on. Prince Charming will never hurt you. Prince Charming will always be there for you and support everything you desire to do. Prince Charming will never leave nor forsake you.
To function in a mutually beneficial relationship you should experience some of those things to some extent. Prince Charming, the guy you end up with, should support you. He should be patient, kind, generous, and compassionate. However, Prince Charming is not meant to worship you or complete you. He’s meant to complement you. The problem is many of us women are looking for a man to make an idol of us. We’ve confused needing to be loved with needing to be worshiped. We don’t understand the kind of detriment we cause when we shift the object of a man’s worship from God to us.
To desire a man who is good to you is not inherently wrong ladies. There’s nothing wrong with Prince Charming; but he usually requires a damsel in distress. The whole premise on which Prince Charming is built is faulty. The only means by which the princess lives happily ever after is for Prince Charming to intervene.
Ladies, if you have a man in your life who seems to be Prince Charming, ask yourself these questions:
- What sort of process am I in and in what kind of season do I find myself?
- Would I be better off allowing him to “intervene?”
- Do I expect him to rescue me from loneliness, embarrassment, or hurt?
- Have I taken adequate quality time to deal with my brokenness?
- Who has God said that I am?
God is doing a work in your life young lady. God will be certain it is brought to completion (Philippians 1:6). Don’t allow something good to mess up the God-thing God is doing in your life.
Over and out.
2 thoughts on “The Illusion of ‘Prince Charming’”
“Prince Charming is not meant to worship you or complete you. He’s meant to complement you. The problem is many of us women are looking for a man to make an idol of us. We’ve confused needing to be loved with needing to be worshiped. We don’t understand the kind of detriment we cause when we shift the object of a man’s worship from God to us.”
This😱 so true. Such a good post. I recently started dating and now that I’m in a relationship I’ve noticed how much I’ve bought into the “Prince Charming” idea. I didn’t realize I looking for a “ perfect man” instead of a man of God made perfect in Him. It’s like I have such a man of the Spirit who literally is perfect for me but I struggled in the beginning because I was looking for a Prince Charming.
Thanks for writing because woman need to hear this- especially those in the body of Christ.
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Girl! Me too! God has had to uproot these ideas about what a man is to be to me and I to him. It has been a JOURNEY. Thank you for confirming the necessity and benefit of this kind of messaging! I seriously appreciate it!
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